Why do I Focus on the “Negative?”
Do you ever feel like you notice the ‘negative’ – the problems that need fixing, daily concerns of life, or anticipated issues - faster and easier than you notice the ‘positive?’ Does it seem like negative experiences linger longer than positive experiences? Perhaps you even criticize yourself for feeling drawn to the negative.
Maybe you can relate to this type of experience. Consider a day when you got some feedback at work about your performance. While it was constructive feedback, it was hard to hear because your work is important and you’re doing your best. On that same day, there was no traffic on the way to work, your breakfast was extra delicious, and a friend texted to invite you to their birthday dinner. When the day is done, what stands out about the day? For a lot of us, it would be the feedback at work, despite the many other good things that also happened that day.
You are not alone if you feel drawn to notice the negative.
“Your brain is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” - Dr. Rick Hanson
Let’s explore One Possible reason why.
The Negativity Bias
Our brains are suggested to have a “negativity bias.” This implies that we are typically more likely to notice and remember the ‘negative’ rather than the ‘positive.’ The negative experiences that we notice are also likely to impact us more heavily than the positive experiences.
Our tendency to be more sensitive to negative experiences rather than positive experiences has helped us survive over time; yet, the constant absorption of the negative can be an obstacle to well-being and can contribute to anxiety and depression. For example, consider how noticing the negative could contribute to:
Feeling on ‘high alert,’ looking for the next problem that needs solving
Feeling under threat (to our physical bodies, egos, emotional safety, sense of self)
Repeatedly feeling hurt by a past negative experience as lingers in the body and mind
A negativity bias could interfere with experiencing more positive emotions and greater satisfaction in life. What can we do about the negativity bias? Read on for two skills you may try.
It can take about five positive experiences in relationships to ‘undo’ the impact of one negative experience (Gottman, 1995).
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness involves our intentional effort to direct our attention in a particular way. Mindfulness is a practice that has been found to be helpful with many issues including anxiety, stress management, and optimizing well-being. Mindfulness has also been suggested to help balance the negativity bias.
Authors of one study found that participants who practiced mindfulness, by focusing on the present moment, experienced less negativity bias and more optimism in comparison to participants who did not practice mindfulness and were encouraged to let their minds “wander” (as our minds naturally do). This may be because when we practice mindfulness, we have opportunities to become more aware of inner and outer experiences that we may not have otherwise noticed (Kiken & Shook, 2011).
Practice Internalizing the Good
Another way to help balance a negativity bias is to start getting intentional about noticing the good. Mindfulness continues to be a useful practice here because when we are more mindful we are in a better position to notice all experiences (“positive,” “negative,” and “neutral”). When noticing a positive or neutral experience, consider immersing yourself in the experience.
For example, next time you greet a friend “hello” – feel it! In that moment, you may feel happy or excited; you may feel a loosening of muscle tension; trees may be rustling around you while sunshine touches your skin. Sink into the full goodness of the moment that can be nested within a simple ‘hello.’
You May Experiment:
1. Notice something positive or good (a flower, bird, or sunshine)
2. Pause and fully open to the experience. Give yourself 5-20 seconds and immerse yourself in the moments. (20 seconds is not going to make or break the day).
3. What do you feel in your heart, body, and soul? Let the goodness be felt.
4. Gift yourself these moments; practice taking in the good regularly can help the brain begin to more easily notice the positive.
Learn More
Just because we may be prone to notice the negative doesn’t mean we can’t make meaningful change to notice more of the positive in life. With practice, we can more easily turn toward joy and happiness. If you would like help developing a mindfulness practice, balancing a negativity bias, or support on your personal growth journey, let’s connect for a free 15-minute informational phone consultation to see if Grow True is right for your needs.
Disclaimer: Please note that visiting this website does not constitute a doctor-client therapeutic relationship. The information and resources included or linked on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional. We do not know the specifics of your situation or have the facts to provide this type of evaluation and recommend that you seek an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional to establish a doctor-client therapeutic relationship. This website also includes links to other websites for informational and reference purposes only. This website does not endorse, warrant or guarantee the products, services or information described or offered at these other websites.
References:
Gottman, J. (1995). Why marriage succeed or fail: And how you can make yours last. New York: Simon and Schuster.
Hanson, R. (2009). The practical neuroscience of buddha’s brain. New Harbinger Publications, Inc. Oakland, CA.
Kiken, L. G., & Shook, N. J. (2011). Looking up: Mindfulness increases positive judgments and reduces negativity bias. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2, 425-431.
Rozin, P., & Royzman, E. B. (2001). Negativity bias, negativity dominance, and cognition. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5, 296-320.
