How to Lessen Avoidance
In our most recent blog we talked about three ways that avoidance can show up in life, possible reasons why, and potentially undesirable outcomes. As a quick reminder:
Avoidance is our effort to not experience any number of things, such as thoughts, emotions, social settings, work obligations, or events.
Avoidance can come in many forms and is not always “bad,” but when it stands in the way of doing things that are important to us in life, it can be an obstacle to living our most meaningful and fulfilling lives. It may be a barrier to:
Personal growth
Happy relationships
Self-care
Good stress management
what Can We do if avoidance May Be standing in the way of Our happiness, goal Achievement, or Ease?
Here are three ideas about how someone could aim to lessen avoidance in their life:
Practice Acceptance
Acceptance is the act of leaning into the present moment, as it is, without attempting to change the experience. Acceptance is not “giving up” or saying something is okay when it’s not. For example, acceptance could mean feeling anxiety when it arises, rather than trying to distract yourself with your phone. As you might imagine, acceptance can be a challenging practice; yet, it has the potential to decrease suffering that could otherwise be maintained by avoidance. Someone could begin experimenting with acceptance by trying these initial steps:
Use mindfulness to help increase awareness of experiences.
With greater self-awareness, notice what strategies commonly help you avoid (e.g., phone, work).
Asking these types of questions could help someone develop an initial understanding of the experience, function of the avoidance behavior, and possible ways of making changes. Exploration and understanding of these processes may be best supported by a professional who is trained to help.
Small Steps
Small steps in the direction of change can be a great tool for lessening fear or anxiety that may be contributing to avoidance. Sometimes thinking of the end goal, like moving overseas or changing careers, is overwhelming and could prevent someone from taking any action at all. It can be helpful to consider the many steps that may support moving in the direction of that big goal, and perhaps take it one small step at a time. Someone may ask themselves:
What do I want?
What steps would get me there?
Am I willing to do the first one or two?
Consider An Alternative
Avoidance is one way to respond. There are likely other ways, such as processing difficult emotions in therapy, making sacrifices to support important goals, or learning new skills to feel more capable. These alternative paths may feel unclear or scary because of thoughts, emotions, or sensations that may arise when thinking about the alternative paths. Yet, what would it be like to travel the alternative path and get to the other side? Someone may imagine:
How would I ideally like to show up? (e.g., going to the party, giving the work presentation)
Would anything about myself or my life be different in the long run (one week or six months) if I showed up differently now?
you’re not alone if you Notice Avoidant Tendencies in yourself. and, you don’t have to go at it alone.
The mentioned ideas are only a few ways someone could potentially aim to lessen avoidance. Support is available if you’re interested in learning more about your tendencies and working toward meaningful change in life.
Learn More
If you would like support as you make efforts to implement positive changes, reach out for a free 15-minute informational consultation. Decreasing avoidance may be an important part of a personal growth journey. Let’s connect and see if Grow True is right for your needs.
Disclaimer: Please note that visiting this website does not constitute a doctor-client therapeutic relationship. The information and resources included or linked on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional. We do not know the specifics of your situation or have the facts to provide this type of evaluation and recommend that you seek an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional to establish a doctor-client therapeutic relationship. This website also includes links to other websites for informational and reference purposes only. This website does not endorse, warrant or guarantee the products, services or information described or offered at these other websites.
